assadof1

حكايتي مع قلب.....

2009-03-09T13:16:00.000+02:00

سار شريط حياتي كفيلم أمام عيني في ومضات.
ما فعلته في ثلاث عقود بدا دون معنا ودون ذكريات.
بدا وكأن لا شيء يستحق الذكر لا فرحتي ولا حتى الكبوات.
وكأني قد ولدت توا, طفل.. فغدوت رجل في لحظات.
آه واه أقولها لقلبا أحب, فيا ويلي منه ومن تسارع النبضات.
قلبا يفعل ما شاء بي لأجلها, ولأجلها فعل المستحيلات.
جالسته وبالعقل أخبرته عن النسيان أجمل الهبات.
فلم يستجيب ولم يكترث وبدا غارقا في بحر من الملذات.
ليست بمرة وليست مرتان بل حاولت مئات المرات.
فلا سلطان لي عليه, يصول ويجول ولا يكترث بالعقبات.
فهو لا يرى شيء غيرها وكأنها وردة حمراء بين الشجيرات.
قاومت فلم يجدي نفعا, فقوته تكمن بها, جميلة ولا كل الجميلات.
فلم أجد حينها سوى الغدر به, وقتله وإنهاء كل هذه المعانات.
نعم فأرديته قتيلا وتحملت اللام في نفسي وعشت أسوء اللحظات.
عشت جسد بلا روح كأي جماد أخر مليئا بالحزن واللام والآهات.
عشت جسد بلا روح ولم ادري بما يحمله القدر لي من عجائب الحكايات.
لم أرى إنها كما كانت إكسير حياته كانت قادرة علي فعل المعجزات.
وحصل ما خشيته, قبلة منها أعادت هذا القلب المشاكس إلي الحياة.
قبلة حملت أجمل ما في الكون من لذة وعذوبة, كالماء يحي الشجرات.
إكسير الحياة أو هذا ما خال للناس وصفها, قبلة تحمل عذب الصفات.
فما أنا بفاعل بعد كل هذا فقلبي صار لعبة تلعبها بأناملها الناعمات.
فليس لي إلا أن أرضى بما آلا إليه مصيري عاشق يقص الحكايات.
فلا تلوموني فأنا ملك لها فيها أحيا و بها احمل بداخلي أجمل السمات.
فيا أجمل ما رأت عيناي افعلي بي ما شئت فانا لكي يا أميرة الأميرات.

قصصات من ذاكرتي

2008-02-13T23:12:00.000+02:00

مرت بجانبي كنسمة هواء عطرة لتداعب أغصانى
تحمل حقيبة في يدها وبعض الكتب والأقلام
ولتجلس أمامى كوردة حمراء لتبعث الحياة في أبداني
ثم لتلتفت اتجاهي, كالشمس لتنهي سواد أيامي
فارمي نفسي في بحور عيناها لأجد فيها كل أحلامي
ولتبدأ أجمل لعبة لديها, لعبة دلالها واهتمامي
وكأنها لاتدري ما فعلت بي ولا تدري شيئا عن آلامي
فسألتني
سألتني عن الحب و سحر متاهاته
وما يحمل في النفوس من جماله و صفاته
فلفني الصمت للحظات متذكرا مأساتي
وقصتي وحكايتي مع أجمل الفتيات
ثم تذاركت نفسي وبصوت حمل كل آهاتي
اخبرتها نتاج تجربتي وسر حزن ابتساماتي
الحب هو أن أجد شخصا أهديه حياتي
فيملك كل قلبي أنفاسي و نبضاتي
فاصحو علي اتغام صوته واغفو متأملا رسماته
وأفديه بكل ما أملك نفسي روحي ومسراتي
فيكون عيني التي أرى بها العالم
ويكون أجمل قصيدة في بحور كتاباتي

أميرتي

2008-01-22T15:34:00.000+02:00

لا أعرف إن كان أجمل أم أسوء يوم, يوم لقيتك
لا أعرف إن كنت تحملين في قلبك ما حملته لكي حين هويتك
لا أدري إن كانت أفعالي صوابا أو خطاء بملاحقتك
جعلتني أسعد البشر بما أعتقدت إنه هناء حبك
بك صار لنجمتي مسارا دائما, في فسائح فلكك
عشقتك وعشقت كل أشياءك, ولكل الأسباب أردتك
بك رسمت خارطتي وسلكت طريقي على دربك
وتهت في زقاق حيك ولقيت الموت على طرقك
يا من جعلت قلبي مسكنك, ليت قلبي هجرني قبل أن يجرؤ علي حبك
أو فقدت بصري قبل أن تراك عيناي وتقع في جنون عشقك
ثم أفقد ذاكرتي وأنسى كل ما كان بي من متاهات قصصك
فما لحياتي من هدف إن فقدت أمالي بالراحة في حضنك
أميرتي... أرديتني جسد بلا روح بسواد حزنك
يا من كنت ولا زلت ملكتي علي ربوع أرضك
مالك اليوم من نفوذ ودلال إلا على نفسك
مالك إلا قبري لتزوريه اليوم ويكون تحت حكمك
......أميرتي
لن أنسى يوم (......) فقد كان كابوس حملت فيه على الأكتاف إلي مقبرتك
أردتك عصفور ينشد أغنيتي, وأردتني قصة حزينة على رفوف كتبك
سئمت وصرخت بأعلى صوت, لماذا لا يمر يوم علي إلا بذكرك
فأجابني فؤادي وأسكتني قائل هذا ليس مرادك بل هو قدرك

ليست النهاية

2008-01-16T20:03:00.000+02:00

ملكتني بنظرة كانت..... كسهم قاتلا مراده فؤادي
رافعا راية حبها..... ولن يرضيه إلا أستسلامي
يحمل سما لكل قطعة في جسدي..... و بموعده لقاني
فلم يخطئ سهمها دربه..... ولم أكن راغبا في الفرار
في محض البصر كان أكسير حبها..... يتخلل كل أبداني
فصرت لها ما صرت..... وصارت جزء من كياني
عذرت نفسي علي ما فعلت..... فبهر جمالها خطف أنظاري
سرت ثلاث عقود باحثا عنها..... أملا بلقياها قبل سقامي
حملت فؤادي بيد..... وبالاخرى تلمست طريقي بين أطلالي
فإذ بالقدر يبتسم لي..... ويرسمها أميرة حسناء كما بأحلامي
من أجلك أعتزلت مسراتي..... أملا بيوم المس فيه شفتاك
كل شئ من حولي يصرخ بأسمك..... زهوري دفاتيري وأقلامي
مولاتي ما فعلت بي..... أيا ليتك تركتني تأها في بحر أوهامي
فكأني كنت مقيدا لدهرا..... وكنت حريتي وأماني
قد لا تجمعني بك الأقدار يوما..... وقد لا أراكي بين احظاني
لكني سئلت الله أن تكوني ملكي..... إن لم يكن بهذا العالم

.....فبالتالي.....

ذاكرة قلب ميت

2008-01-14T00:01:00.000+02:00

لا يمر يوم إلا ويجبرني فؤادي علي زيارة أطلالي

ليذكر ما كان في عمري أجمل الليالي

ثلاثة أشهر تحمل كل ما تمنيته في خيالي

قلبت كياني رأسا علي عقبا ثم تركتني في حالي

ملئها العذاب صباح مساء مدمرا كل أبذاني

فكان أجمل ألما وأحلى من كل الجناني

فما أريد أكثر من وجودي معها ففيها وجدت كل أحلامي

حبها أنزلني تحت ألارض ثم بالسماء رماني

إبداع الخالق سواها ووضعها كالملائكة أمامي

لتكون مصيبتي وذائي وفي ذات ألاوان دوائي

مأساتي

2008-01-12T14:31:00.000+02:00

رأيتها فلم تعد عينايا ترى سواها.

سكنت قلبي وأحتلت فؤادي برؤياها.

لم أدري ما حل بي أهو العشق أم سحر عيناها.

إن كان عشق فأني له مخلصا، فهي كل ما أملك وبروحي أفداها.

.أقسمت بأن أكون حارسها ولم أدري بما خبئته الأقدار لكلانا

عشت ساعات باتت كالدهر أفكر بجمالها وأعجاز من أحياها.

حتى جاء يوم بدا كعاصفة هوجاء ليظلم سماها.

ويغرز سيفا في روحي ليرديني قتيلا تحت قدماها.

فمالي الأن غير دمعة أدرفها متحسرا علي فقداها.

ويكفيني شرفا أن أموت لأجلها وأحمل في قلبي ذكراها.

فرغم الموت أقسمت روحي لحبها بأن لا أنساها.

unconscious words

2008-01-12T14:12:00.000+02:00

i am tired of writing about pain and torture.
but this is all i've, this become my culture.
i am sorry i can't help it, this life turned me to a monster.
just unlovable creature, who can't even scare ya.
they said that you can change your destiny.
but destiny already written, and it's just beyond ya.
i don't know if this the problem or not.
just yasterday my sight never crossed my foot step.
and now i am looking for miles ahead.
trying to read my cursed damn future.
i can tell you life is easy but!.
only if you manage to read "her".
if i could know, that after all this suffering.
that the sun will shine to finish my lonely nights.
then everything will be easy and life will be kinder
and it will be like a ring in your little finger.
it's hard to live alone in a place called home.
even though you are a round with friends and family

Some Garbage From My Mind

2008-01-12T14:03:00.000+02:00

it was easy to live each day alone.
it was easy to let everything flow.
it was easy to keep my mind clean.
it was easy to not think about anything.
it was easy to let the time killing me.
it was easy to watch luck dumping me.
it was easy to stretch my wing and fly alone.
it was easy to watch them screw.
it was easy to to be the last.
it was easy to to let them past.
it was easy to forget about history.
it was easy to not think about your destiny.
it was easy to think about anything silly.
it was easy to have any interest.
it was easy to live and let live.
it was easy to live and let die.
it was easy to to run and be free.
it was easy to be in a prison for a year.
it was easy to sell them my soul.
it was easy to to leave them alone.
it was easy to have anything through my mind.
it was easy to dream about anything in anytime.
it was easy to be sad ugly and dirty.
it was easy to be happy pretty in thirty.

Becouse of You (B.O.U)

2008-01-07T18:40:00.000+02:00

B.O.U, i give up on everything.
B.O.U, i don't feel anything.
B.O.U, i can't see the world anymore.
B.O.U, i fall down in a deep dark hole.
B.O.U, i don't feel the pain.
B.O.U, faces becomes the same.
B.O.U, i stabbed my weak heart.
B.O.U, i had to hide it in the dark.
B.O.U, i can't smell the pretty roses.
B.O.U, i can't taste any music.
B.O.U, i turned to a hero.
B.O.U, i end up with a zero.
B.O.U, i sold my soul.
B.O.U, i can't see the true.
B.O.U, i become so lonely.
B.O.U, nothing can hurt me.
B.O.U, i write everyday.
B.O.U, i don't care about what people say.
B.O.U, i can touch the sky.
B.O.U, i would like to die.

A Message to my Queen

2007-12-20T13:32:00.000+02:00

I wrote you these words,
And I know that you'll not gone read it.
It's everything in my heart,
And it's for you now to believe it.
Since I knew you everything changed,
All the rules the lows, I knew it.
Nothing become the same,
And it's because I started to feel it.
Something wired painful or sweet,
I tried hard, but even though I can't describe it.
It's like I am not me anymore,
And someone else has got to live it.
Or maybe this the real me,
And I didn't even know about it.
I don't know if you changed me for better,
Or even for worse, honestly I can't feel it.
Life is wonderful when you are a round,
But just when you leave, I just lost it.
I don't know should I stay with you,
And sacrifice everything I wanted it,
Or should I let you go,
And run from the pain, till I meet it.
Answer me my queen…. please,
Coz it's getting harder everyday to live it.

Dream Come True "Sometimes"

2007-12-19T14:02:00.000+02:00

I saw you and I loved you.
Even though that I didn't meet you.
You felt my love as I felt yours.
With out any words we fall in blues.
We both know the true but we didn't say it loud.
As we both felt shy just like a child.
Coz it's kind of dream to find a love like this.
The one who just start by only a sparks.
It’s amazing how you can light up my life.
Like a sun shining after along lonely night.
And when I touch you I fell like this is it.
This is what I want and I deserve to die.
It's like not enough as you are always in my brain.
But your fever invasion me even in my dream.

I just come out from killing attempt.
And I didn't have any good friend.
But you were the angel to save me life.
Just when my sky starts to fall down.

And this is my promise that this will never end.
What ever does happen I will be your strength.

to be finished

Formula 1 2008 Calendar

2007-12-15T16:30:00.000+02:00

Mar 16 - Melbourne, Australia (K.Raikkonen 07)
Mar 23 - Sepang, Malaysia (F.Alonso 07)
Apr 06 - Sakhir, Bahrain (F.Massa 07)
Apr 27 - Barcelona, Spain (F.Massa 07)
May 11 - Istanbul Park, Turkey (F.Massa 07)
May 25 - Monte Carlo, Monaco (F.Alonso 07)
June 08 - Montreal, Canada (L.Hamilton 07)
June 22 - Magny-Cours, France (K.Raikkonen 07)
July 06 - Silverstone, Great Britain (K.Raikkonen 07)
July 20 - Hockenheim, Germany (M.Schumacher 06)
Aug 03 - Hungaroring, Hungary (L.Hamilton 07)
Aug 24 - Valencia, Europe (new venue)
Sep 07 - Spa-Francorchamps, Belgium (K.Raikkonen 07)
Sep 14 - Monza, Italy (F.Alonso 07)
Sep 28 - Singapore* (new venue)
Oct 12 - Fuji, Japan (L.Hamilton 07)
Oct 19 - Shanghai, China (K.Raikkonen 07)
Nov 02 - Interlagos, Brazil (K.Raikkonen 07)

* night race

Formula 1 2008 Drivers Lineup

2007-12-15T16:22:00.000+02:00

Ferrari
01-Kimi Raikkonen (FIN)
02-Felipe Massa (BRA)

BMW Sauber
03-Nick Heidfeld (GER)
04-Robert Kubica (POL)

Renault
05-Fernando Alonso (ESP)
06Nelson Piquet Jr (BRA)

Williams
07-Nico Rosberg (GER)
08-Kazuki Nakajima (JAP)

Red Bull
09-David Coulthard (SCO)
10-Mark Webber (AST)

Toyota
11-Jarno Trulli (ITA)
12-Timo Glock (GER)

Toro Rosso
14-Sebastian Vettel (GER)
15-Sebastien Bourdais (FRA)

Honda
16-Jenson Button (GBR)
17-Rubens Barrichello (BRA)

Super Aguri
18-
19-

Force India
20-
21-

McLaren
22-Lewis Hamilton (GBR)
23-Heikki Kovalainen (FIN)

A GIRL

2007-12-15T16:05:00.000+02:00

When A Girl is Quiet,
Millions of Things are Running in Her Mind.

When A Girl is not Arguing,
She is Thinking Deeply.

When A Girl Looks at you With Eyes Full of Questions,
She is Wondering How Long you Will Be Around.

When A Girl Answers "I'm Fine" After A Few Seconds,
She is not at All Fine.

When A Girl Stares at you,
She is Wondering Why you are Lying.

When A Girl Lays on your Chest,
She is Wishing for you to Be Hers Forever.

When A Girl Calls you Everyday,
She is Seeking For your Attention.

When A Girl SMS's you Everyday,
She Wants you to Reply at Least Once.

When A Girl Says I LOVE YOU,
She Means it.

When A Girl Says That She Can't Live Without you,
She Has Made up Her Mind That you are Her Future.

When A Girl Says "I MISS YOU",
No One in This World Can Miss you More Then Her.....

True Friendship

2007-12-15T15:49:00.000+02:00

Do you know the relationship between your two eyes?.....

they blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together, even though they never see each other (except in mirror).

friendship should be just like this.

it's L.I.F.E

2007-12-15T14:18:00.000+02:00

it's life what do u expect it, it's the routen that u can nevert forget it, it's like a tape rolling over and over, it's what make's u feel like a dying rover, it's the sound of tick tuck, it's the reality of u been block, it's the same faces every damn day, it's what people call's sociality, it's fake it's laying and it's pretending, it's a play and the crowd who's acting, it's friends who don't understand friendship, it's familes who lost there relationship, it's money and hate and violence, it's people acting like a virus, it's a captain searching for a land, it's sea swallow everything he can, it's a long search for a mate, it's sacrifices to kept it straight, it's a one chance that u have to find, it's ur future leaking from ur mind, it's L I F and E, it's be or not to be.

Can you be mine

2007-12-15T14:10:00.000+02:00

She was part of my life that I didn't knew about, I done everything to find her while she was around, I kept looking for her in the wrong places with perfect guide, And I doubted that she's not even alive, I found many people trying playing her part, But they all couldn't touch my lonely heart, Till a day come's when the live smile to me, Handed me a flower that completed me, In the morning of one seven April, Her sun-shine's on my dying field, That moment where I born again, When our eyes meet and it's all began, I couldn't help my self to hold her tight, I want her to be mine for the rest of our lives, Unfortunately everything was against me to be with her, But nothing will stop me of living this affair, She is everything that I was asking for, That is why that I can't let it go, I came to her and ask her to be mine, And I was afraid of the answer "goodbye", She ask me to get her own time, To think about it even for awhile, I lived for an hours shaking like a leaf, Terrified like I'm falling in endless cliff, Then she answer's me back with her shying voice, "Yes I want u, yes I do".... how can I don't love u.

I'm Always With you

2007-12-15T14:05:00.000+02:00

Everything began? a week ago, everything started when, she saw me, she met me, she got me, she owned me, she held me, she loved me, she slaved me, everything changed around me, everything became.....different everything became ....her, then, she's become my mother, she's become my sister, she's become my lover, she's become my twister, she's become my friend, she's become my family, she's become my wife, she's become everything, she's become me, she is the air that I breath, she is the water that I need, she is the moon in my night, she is the mother of my child, she is the sun on my skin, she is the reason for my living, she is the queen of my heart, she is the pupil of the eye, she is the medicine for my pain, she is The light when the darkness fall' in, she is the only thing that I care about, she is the blood in my veinbut, she is far from my vision, she is away from my hand, she is behind the oceans, she is in other land, she is my intoxicant, she is my soul mate, .......if she didn't kill me, she is always around, she is most to be a star, she is all what I know, she is nothing I can do, she is the end of my nightmare, she is my guardian angel, she is the one who kills me

So please don't accuse her because simply I am in love with her.

Hello Everyone

2007-12-10T22:17:00.000+02:00

Good morning or good afternoon or good night, when ever you read this, anyway this is me back again, my name is assad or you can call me assado, as you like, born in tripoli the capital of libya, if you don't know it you can check your map, in 1979 the 31st of july to libyan parents.
i traveled to hungary from 1980 to the 1987 with my family where my father was studying, back to libya by the end of 1987, it was great by that time, i was missing my country becouse as you can see i didn't know anything about it, i finish my high school education in 1996, then i got some really hard time in the university i quit for few times for alot of reasons, but i manage at the end to make it and finish as computer engineer, in 2003 i opened my own caffe net with a friend called "The Mole" we didn't make to the 5th month so we close, and got some really big lose in our profit, then i joined afriqyiah airways and i didn't last long as the time and the distance coz me alot of problems so i quit as usually, after that i joined an english and computer institute as supervisor, and i quit again for payment reasons as they use to pay me after 6 months, and really didn'y help me, so at the end joined a bank called bank of commerce and development, as a supervisor again on Western Union section, and here i am still a live "thank god" and still breathing........ this is not my first blog and i am not sure it will be the last as i got bored so fast and i only deleted that easy and start another one so this is a new one and hopefully it will last for some good time.